Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Stress and Food Choices

        My Weight Watcher leader said that next weeks topic in "Managing Stress." Well she may be a week too late for me. Toinght I had to take my 79 year old Father and admit him into the hospital. His kidneys are failing and his blood is messed up. This all began back in Nov. of 2011 but we thought Dad was on the road to recovery until about 2 weeks ago. The mind boggling thing is what caused Dad's initial kidney failure...it was from taking over-the-counter Prilosec for 3 weeks. It made his kidneys shut down. He was on meds to keep the kidneys working. The endo of Jan. the Dr. ordered that we taper him off of that medicine. He was doing well but the past week or maybe 2, he has been declining. He has been confused, weak, sleeping most of the day, severe dry mouth and cannot eat. We had bloodwork done yesterday and today the Dr. called saying, "He needs to be admitted to the hospital!" That is what we did this afternoon/evening. It was a stressful evening that is only the beginning of what will be a stressful a stressful week or more.

     When we left the hospital my Mom wanted to stop and eat. We went to Friendly's. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE  Friendly's. I typically do not even have to look at the menu because I get the same thing each time I go. I had this crazy dialog in my head until I got to the restaurant and ordered my food. This is what I was saying; "I am getting what I like to eat because I am stressed!" Then I said, "No, I worked HARD to lose 4.2 lbs last week. I cannot eat poorly and go backwards again."  This went back and forth in my head for a long while. So I pulled my phone out and looked up the points value of the meal I WANTED to eat. Well let me tell you what an eye opener that was for me!!! I have to tell you that I get 38 WW points daily. Here is the point value of the entire meal that I ALWAYS get when I go there is.....are you READY for this??? The total is 71 points....for ONE meal!!!  That meal includes a sandwich, 2 Sprites, fries and a sundae. How INSANE is that????  71 points for ONE meal??? Seriously!!?!?!? What the heck have I been doing to myself??

      Well happily, I made the HEALTHY choice. The meal I chose had a point value of 9 total points!!!  That meal was half of a sandwich, a side salad with fat free dressing and water!!  AND I felt satisfied after I ate it!! It was  BIG step for me to choose the healthy food over what my body told me I was craving or my emotions told me I "need!!"  I feel like I am making serious progress in making good food choices!!

      I plan on packing a cooler of healthy foods and snacks for our visits to the hospital to see my Dad! I am beginning to think I may REALLY be able to succeed this time!!
     Please Pray for my Dad to recover soon!!!



   This week was a really good weigh in and that was because I worked REALLY hard to make it be that way! I made sure what I ate all week was not only within my points I also worked hard to make HEALTHY food choices!  So this week I lost 4.2 lbs!!  It is a GREAT loss, but it would have been so much better if I had not gained last week. I would have loved for that entire 4.2 to be toward my total wieght loss, but it simply helped me regain ground I lost last week. My total losss is 8.8 lbs so far! Looking forward to having loss in the double digits!!



Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Yep, I disappered! But I am back now!!!

     I have been a bit lazy in blogging. The same thing happens to me everytime I begin to journal. Writing and I are not really close. I never feel like what I have to say is important enough to write, remember and keep. But this weeks subject at WW was tracking. If you have ever been on the WW program you know that tracking what you eat and drink is a HUGE part of the program. But you are also supposed to track how many fruits and veggies you eat, dairy and healthy oils and if you take a multi-vitamin. This week our leader asked us about a very important thing that many of us do not track, our emotions!!

      It is ironic that Monday's meeting was so powerful for me. Ironic because I almost did not hear it.  After I weighed-in and found out I had gained 3lbs. I really wanted to go home. Ok that is not honest either, I wanted to go EAT. I wanted to eat lots and lots of junk to punish myself for gaining. Instead I stayed at the meeting and learned something very critical to my success, not only in weight loss but in life too.

        Emotions!!!  I have learned well how to deal with my emotions. I ignore them. I hide them. I suff them. I internalize them. But the reason I am having to do WW at all is because I FEED my emotions!! Yep, I said I FEED my emotions, I do not FEEL my emotions. This was such an ah-ha moment for me during the meeting. I realized that is the beginning and end of my weight issues. I have NEVER allowed myself to FEEL my emotions.

       I have had many bad things happen to me in my life from the time I was quite young. As a result of those things I became a very angry little girl. I was mean and had very few friends. Even my family got frustrated with me. But there was one thing that was ALWAYS there for me....FOOD!!!  Food never judged me. Food never let me down. Food never told me I was a brat. Food made me happy....for a while anyway. Then as I began getting overweight, food and I fought all the time and still do to this very day. We fight because it calls me and tells me if I eat I will feel better. Instead I feel worse. What a viscious cycle I have lived for most of my life.

      The challenge our leader gave for this week is to journal our feelings thoughout the day in a journal separate from our food journal. That is so we do not equate certain foods to our feelings. I have not been doing this yet this week, but I have been thinking more before I eat and asking WHY do I want to eat?? Is it physical hunger or emotional hunger? Most often it is NOT physical hunger. Surprise, surprise!! Not!

       So even though this week was not successful on the scale I feel overall it was a week that will carry me through to ultimate success in weight loss and health!